Famous Quotes (Joke)

[strosdegoz]

If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. -Will Kommen

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. -Dean Martin

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -Calvin Trillin

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. -Rita Rudner

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. -Wendy Liebman

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again. -Joan Rivers

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. -Henny Youngman

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. -Bob Thaves

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. -Ben Franklin

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. -Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays. -Joey Bishop

[ending]

Hahaha.....nice.....Some are funny.

[strosdegoz]

------------------- Fast Sex Joke ---------------------------


Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... But she was dating someone else.

One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you...

The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!'

Eddie said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up. '

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend...So she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.'

She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, 'What happened...?'

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, 'The bastard had all dimes!'

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.

[kimrobin]

I like the second one. Nice joke dude. Keep it up!

[andr66]

I liked one about the housework! Must tell it to my mom!

[whiteberry]

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. -Wendy Liebman

Funny qoutes! But the one I posted above is the best for me.

[andrew201]

Really its a good joke and i really appreciate this joke.

[jacob581]

haha
Its really a nice joke,i have ever heard.

[redvines]

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again. -Joan Rivers


that i can identify with HA!!!! very funny i like it!!